Off topic: Funnier than the average translation Thread poster: Jeremy Smith
| Jeremy Smith United Kingdom Local time: 00:31 Member (2003) French to English + ...
I just saw a short list of unbelievably bad translations. Very poor work, but they are good for a laugh: "In accordance with your Instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope." "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better." "I am enclosing my marriage certificate with three children. One of then is a mistake as you can see when you look into it." "The patient has been depressed ever s... See more I just saw a short list of unbelievably bad translations. Very poor work, but they are good for a laugh: "In accordance with your Instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope." "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better." "I am enclosing my marriage certificate with three children. One of then is a mistake as you can see when you look into it." "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983." "Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant." ▲ Collapse | | | Andy Watkinson Spain Local time: 01:31 Member Catalan to English + ... Not so much translations....more urban myth (unfortunately) | Nov 26, 2003 |
Legend: Humorous list is compiled from genuine comments submitted by welfare applicants. Example: [Collected on the Internet, 2000] I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died, which was baptized on a half sheet of paper. I am writing to the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money? Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited ... See more Legend: Humorous list is compiled from genuine comments submitted by welfare applicants. Example: [Collected on the Internet, 2000] I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died, which was baptized on a half sheet of paper. I am writing to the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money? Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy. I cannot get sick pay. I have six children . . . Can you tell me why? I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead. This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it? Please find out for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't eat or do anything until he knows. I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married to his father a week before he was born. In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a ten-pound son. I hope this is satisfactory. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my children, one of which was a mistake as you can see. My husband got his project cut off for two weeks and I haven't had any relief since. Unless I get my husband's money soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life. You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference? I have no children as yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works day and night. In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope. I want my money as soon as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve I will have to send for another doctor. Origins: As is typical with such humorous lists of supposedly "real-life" examples, the howlers are written by women, a circumstance which invokes the widely-believed stereotype of illiterate welfare moms and thus makes the compilation appear more believable. Could these have come off real social assistance applications? Anything is possible, of course, but we can only note that this list has been circulating in various forms for decades, with new entries being added and old ones dropped off while various attributions have been added and subtracted throughout the years. For example, the entry about the woman who hasn't had any relief since the husband's project was cut off appeared in a collection of funny letters circulated since the 1930s, in which it was headed: "Dere Mr. President." Likewise, the entries about the unclothed Mrs. Jones who is visited regularly by the clergy, a mother irate that her son has been labeled an illiterate, the bus driver who works day and night to get his wife pregnant, the twins born in the envelope, and the child who was a mistake all appear in a 1967 Reader's Digest collection identified as "Troubles at North Dakota State Welfare Headquarters." (Included in that list but not part of the Internet version quoted above is: "Please send my money at once as I need it badly. I have fallen into errors with my landlady.") http://www.snopes.com/humor/lists/welfare.htm ▲ Collapse | | |
Thank you both for the laugh. I love this one: I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married to his father a week before he was born.
[Edited at 2003-11-27 01:29] | | | R. James United States Local time: 19:31 Portuguese to English + ...
...you gotta love Snopes | |
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Jack Doughty United Kingdom Local time: 00:31 Russian to English + ... In memoriam Newspaper headlines (at least some of them are genuine) | Nov 27, 2003 |
Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans Legless VC opens pub Prostitutes appeal to Pope Dealers will hear car talk at noon Milk drinkers are turning to powder 12 on their way to cruise among dead in plane crash Killer sentenced to die for second time in ten years Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft Quarter of a million Chinese live on water Include your children when baking cookies Old school pillars are replaced by alumn... See more Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans Legless VC opens pub Prostitutes appeal to Pope Dealers will hear car talk at noon Milk drinkers are turning to powder 12 on their way to cruise among dead in plane crash Killer sentenced to die for second time in ten years Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft Quarter of a million Chinese live on water Include your children when baking cookies Old school pillars are replaced by alumni Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests Lack of brains hinders research Red tape holds up new bridge Squad helps dog bite victims Children's Stool Great for Use in Garden Stud Tires Out Stiff Opposition to Casketless Funeral Plan Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead 12 On Their Way to Cruise Among Dead in Plane Crash N.J. Judge to Rule on Nude Beach Chou Remains Cremated Chinese Apeman Dated Hershey Bars Protest Deer Kill 130,000 Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Survivor of Siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Is there a ring of debris around Uranus? Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over Soviet virgin lands short of goal again British left waffles on Falkland Islands Eye drops off shelf Teacher strikes idle kids Shot off woman's leg helps Nicklaus to 66 Enraged cow injures farmer with axe Plane too close to ground, crash probe told Miners refuse to work after death Stolen painting found by tree 2 sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter Never withhold herpes infection from loved one If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while Enfield couple slain; Police suspect homicide Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Sneak Attack by Soviet Bloc Not Foreseen War Dims Hopes for Peace Blue Skies Unless it's Cloudy Bankrupt Association Termed in Poor Shape Food is Basic to Student Diet Lack Of Water Hurts Ice Fishing Cookies With Condoms Fail Family Taste-Test Condom Firm Stretches Product Line White Flower Two Day Sale-(Friday ONLY) Toxic Waste Tour Planned Grandmother of eight makes hole in one Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing Two convicts evade noose, jury hung William Kelly was fed secretary Organ festival ends in smashing climax Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency Child's death ruins couple's holiday Man is fatally slain Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Air Head Fired Steals Clock, Faces Time Prosecutor Releases Probe into Under-Sheriff Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board Hospitals are sued by 7 foot doctors Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart 'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories Fish lurk in streams Alcohol ads promote drinking Malls try to attract shoppers Official: Only rain will cure drought Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link Whatever Their Motives, Moms Who Kill Kids Still Shock Us Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men Man shoots neighbor with machete Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold Economist uses theory to explain economy Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity Bible church's focus is the Bible Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons Dr. Ruth to Talk about Sex with Newspaper Editors Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again Reagan Wins on Budget, but More Lies Ahead Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted Survivor of Siamese twins joins parents 'Man struck by lightning faces battery charge' 'Local High School drop-outs cut in half' Kids make nutritious snacks Red tape holds up new bridges. Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter. Survivor of Siamese twins joins parents. Diet of premature babies affects IQ.
[Edited at 2004-01-13 17:01] ▲ Collapse | | |
The reason for such misinterpretations is simple - bad knowledge of both lexics and , what is more tragical ,- complete incompetence in the syntax . Funny - yes ! , but very sad for the customers , too . Sincerely , P. Ivan | | | NancyLynn Canada Local time: 19:31 Member (2002) French to English + ... Moderator of this forum Misplaced modifiers | Nov 30, 2003 |
the one I remember from grade 7 : We watched the parade go by on the roof. Fropm an auto accident insurance claim I read while working in England : We driving home with plants from the nursery when suddenly a hedge blocked my view | | | Gordon Darroch (X) Local time: 00:31 Dutch to English + ... I saw this one | Dec 4, 2003 |
in the Dundee Courier, a legendarily bad Scottish daily newspaper, above a report of a Fatal Accident Inquiry: DEATH INEVITABLE, SAYS PATHOLOGIST | |
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Priceless, Jack! | Jan 13, 2004 |
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